It's 11.26 am
And there is a second cup of coffee on my table and jemuran baju in front of me, not so a beautiful view i know, but this is my home.. :)
So why write again in the blog? because I just miss blogging? literally nop! hehe, karena kalau mau nulis di buku, susah aja di aksesnya kalau mau liat tiba2...
Karena sudah menulis dari SD, dulu punya banyak banget diary, sampai bertumpuk2, bahkan lembaran kertas bertebaran di mana2, hehe dengan harapan jangan sampai lupa taruh mana nanti di baca orang.. hehe, trus tiba2 ada blog, dannn seru banget bisa baca lagi keseharian waktu muda dulu di blog.. hehe, tinggal klick, gak perlu bongkar bongkar lemari.. hihi
So yeah, panjang ya alasanya, walau emang masih punya buku harian juga, karena memang kalau personal lebih baik disimpen aja, walaupun kalau di share di sini gak ad yg baca juga. hehe (jaga2 kalau nanti tiba2 viral dan famous).. hueekkss.. hahah
So yeah, how's you treating life? that's the phrase that I choose instead of using the normal saying like "how's life treating you?" don't blame life, don't point finger to something and someone, more on how you yourself adapt and survive in life.
So let's go to my random points :
1. Di umur 30 something ini, phase yg hati2 banget, tanpa sadar orang sudah mulai kehilangan jati diri dan arah, banyak yang berubah, banyak yg terjadi di sekitarku.. dulu mereka gak gitu, tp di lingkungan baru, keinginan baru. dan lain2nya, mereka berubah.. bersyukur ada yg menjadi lebih baik, namun banyaknya tidak. I am not a perfect person, but I can assure you I am 100% not perfect, just a person who always try to keep my feet underground and to feed my soul in God. Bukannya I am okay then my surrounding is 100 % okay, I live with other people, so when I see others in a wrong path, I also need to help them as a way of keeping my surrounding healthy, save and sound. But again, as human I always believe that God is in control. I try to remind my self that upah dosa adalah maut, not literally you die! but maut in a bigger picture is like more in the destruction not only your life but also your family, your love ones. Iblis hanya butuh satu langkah untuk masuk ke hati kita, dan Tuhan mengizinkan iblis untuk mencobai manusia. So, if you want to go away from lembah kekelaman, hanya Tuhanlah penolongmu. Amin!
2. Saat ada masalah, kayanya kita menikmati banget ya rasanya dalam kondisi tersebut, in a way of kita nyaman dengan ketidaknyamanan kita, which i think that kita gak mau cari solusi atau keluar dari sana karena sudah terlalu nyaman dan gak berani or even gak tau caranya minta tolong untuk melangkah keluar. I do think process is needed, surely do, tapi jangan kelamaan, saat nanti sudah bisa menerima dan berani melangkah, akhirnya saat melihat kebelakang you will be so grateful you could go through that and proud that you were able to go out "in style", hehe.. When I looked back to what happened to me, I feel grateful that situation happened, it's not fun, so challenging, but I am now learn something valuable, and I know that i will not make the same mistake again by "enjoying" the problem too much, instead of that now I know that you cannot change people's feeling about you, you cannot control people's thoughts about you, know your self, worth yourself and just remember people who love and support you genuinely.
3. Kemarin ikut test toefl, setelah 5 tahun gak ikutan, hehe, susahhh, readingnya oh My Goodness! hehe, padahal mau banget belajar, tapi apa daya gak sempet terus, padahahl sejujurnya aku sudah berubah lohhh.. hehe, anaknya dah tau arti preparation, sempet sih latihan sekali tapi ya kurang, hehe, nah tapi keren juga kalau dulu pasti nyesel banget gak belajar (padahal gak ada niat belajar), hehe, tp sekarang gak nyesel (ngapain juga udah lewat), lebih ke kalau jelek ngulang lagi, dan ya lumayan lah uang daftarnya, ya makanya latihan dulu baru daftar yaa.. heheh
4. Haduh, memang udah gak bisa kelamaan nulis, memang udah beda, gak bisa semau2nya nulis kaya waktu muda dulu, barusan aja anak dateng ingetin " Mom kok mom kompor nyala gk masak apa2." zzzzzz, udahan dulu ya, next cerita lagi.. tenang is not a way of giving up my "kesukaan menulis dan curhat gak jelas" but more in "Hanny nextnya gak usah multitask deh, bukannya gak bisa, udah susahh.. hehe." So yeah I will find a good timing just to enjoy my self writing and taking a sip of my coffee. (Slrrppp *backsound, red)
Selamat Siang
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